Tuesday, July 20, 2010

warning: Details ahead

So I spent the weekend in Las Vegas for a Tool concert and as many of yo know, I have given up drinking. Well, I am happy to say I did not falter and kept my self sober and drink free the entire weekend. It really was not as hard as I was expecting it to be. It's not like I was sitting there sweating and licking my lips at every drink I saw, And I saw a lot. No, it was more like Someone:"You want a drink?" Me: "Meh, no thanks." and that was it hahaha. I am very happy with the decisions I made.

So, I first arrived in Vegas and checked into my hotel, Excalibur. Not a bad hotel but the maid seemed to have missed cleaning it very well. The trash was full and there was popcorn on the floor. Not a lot but it was around. I did not call house keeping or complain just because thats the kinda guy I am and because I needed to take a shower and head over to the concert, so I really didn't have the time to mess with it. So I got all clean and changed and and decided to walk to the Planet Hollywood hotel and casino where the concert was, not a long walk but it was pretty hot but again, not a big deal. I quite enjoy walking down the strip actually. So I get to the venue and get inline for the merch. A shirt for the tour was $75! I decided to pass. Some art for $900, hahaha, again a pass. Then I saw what I wanted, a poster of this specific night and venue. $120 signed or $30 unsigned. I had exactily $120 on me but decided to get the unsigned one to save money for gambling...I should have just bought it. The concert was great and the quote of the night was "Raise your hands if your 21 or under. You were all sperm when we wrote this song." Hahaha, Nice.

After the show was over I went to meet up with some friends that happened to be there the same weekend. They were at the Toby Keith bar in Harrah's so I decided to walk there too. It was a longer walk than expected. By this time my feet, or more accurately my foot, was hurting really bad. I hung out at the bar with the guys and had a fun time with them, the whole while not ordering a drink and turning down offers to buy me a drink. We were there for some time and when it came time to leave I rode the monorail back to my end of town. Hahaha.

The next day I woke up early and went down to the Pawn Stars pawn shop. I was supposed to meet my Dad and his wife, Jan, for lunch in Henderson so I decided I could cut it close but I could get it done. I got to the pawn shop, went inside took 3 pictures and left. I got what I wanted though, a picture of the Jim Morrison painting. So cool but not for sale. I made it to lunch with my Dad and Jan without being late. We had a nice lunch at Rubio's and then went to their house. It's the first time I've seen it, it's very nice and in a nice area away from Vegas. We sat, relaxed and cit chatted for a while and then I left. I met back up with the boys and gambled for a few hours with $50 bucks but ended up losing it all, but hey, a few hours of entertainment for $50 is a pretty good deal. We went back to our hotels and got ready for the strip club...That being said, if you would like to not hear details you should stop reading now....

Ok, if you are still with me you are in for a treat. One of the guys scored us a limo ride to Spearmint Rhino (sp) and entry all for free. Thats a huge deal. The limo picks us up and we head out at about 10:20pm. We get to the joint and we get our I.D's checked at the back door and they let us in. I am in the back because I have no idea what to do, hahaha, I've only gone to strip joints a few times and am always nervous. I guess one of the guys I was with gave the host a few bucks and he sat us in a vip area with our own table...again a big deal. We got a lot for very little. Ok, so I am following the group trying to not be too distracted by all the beautiful boobies, er, women and get myself lost. We sit down and immediately girls are all over us. A few of the guys know what they are doing and get right into it, one of the guys is standoffish and I am giggling like a school girl. When the girls come up and say "Hey baby, you want some company?" I reply "No thank you but I appreciate it very much, thank you." hahaha. Finally a girl comes over and gets on my lap and starts dancing. She informs me my friend has already taken care of it. Awesome, my first (yes my FIRST) lap dance. It was very entertaining and just a bit scary. I didn't know where to put my hands so I put them at my side on the arms of the chair but she would grab them and put them on her hips so I just went with it, all the while smiling and holding back my giggles. After the dance I thank my friend and laugh.

I sit for a while and am trying to say no thanks to all the girls that come up to me and I come up with a brilliant plan; If I have a cigar, they wont be able to dance on me for fear of burning themselves. So I order a stogy from our waitress who has been bringing drinks to us (again I did not partake) and I light up. I start out by puffing away, sitting back and relaxing but start using it like a shaman would use sage. As a girl would approach I would wave around the the cigar so the smoke would be seen very clearly as a sign to say "stay away: sacred ground." It only lasted so long and was gone. I was now defenseless. I kept them away as long as I could until it happened again.

A girl sits on my lap and says "Your friend sent me over." I giggle and say "Oh did he?" She looks at my watch, bracelet and touches my lip ring and says "I like your style." She begins to dance all around and I am starting to relax a little and have a good time and role with it, then...she sticks her hands up my shirt to rub up on me and she gets to my nipples and stops dead in her tracks. (Side note: My nipples are pierced and the rings I have in consist of a circle that goes around my nipple with a bar going through it and my nipples to keep them on. Surrounding this circle are six spikes that are pretty sharp.) So she is there, stopped, frozen then she slowly looks up at me and I sit there wide eyed and thinking in my head "now what?" She then jumps back up onto my lap and unbuttons my top button to reach down and see the rings. One problem, I am wearing an undershirt. So she gets down and lifts my shirt up and starts feeling how sharp they really are. She asks me about them and I reply "I guess I like my pleasure spiked with pain." she looks intrigued and says "How bad do they hurt?" and puts her boobs on my chest. At this point I have no idea what to do, hahaha, I am not saying I didn't enjoy it I'm just saying it is new territory to me. So with her boob pressed firmly against my chest she says "I can't feel it." So I tell her "Well no, because you are pressing against it. Go up and down on it." She does and *poke* she yelps and says "oooohhhhh" hahahaha. I was red. Like I said, I had a blast, a lot of fun but it was new for me. She finished her dance and went on her way. We stayed until about three in the morning I think and finally went back to our hotels. Good times, good times.

The next day I woke up, got ready, checked out and went to grab a bite to eat at Planet Hollywood the restaurant in Cesars Palace. I wanted their Texas Tostados but they were serving breakfast so I got the English breakfast, bangers and mash, with orange juice and hot tea. It was great and filling. After breakfast I headed out of town. I forgot to fill up in Las Vegas where the gas is much cheaper and waited until I hit Baker. I stopped at AM/PM because I kinda like that place. I used my ATM card and was denied. I knew I had money in there for gas but it was still denied. I begin to panic. I notice on the gas pump that AM/PM which serves Arco gas is a BP company. I leave. I go to Chevron, don't see a "BP" logo anywhere and try my luck...It works. Sweet I can go home. I told my brother about it and he said Arco preapproves your card for like $100, which I did not have so it was denied. Thats why the other gas station worked because they preapprove a smaller amount, which I did have. I then continued my drive to Ridgecrest where I made it safe, sound and still sober :)